I did not really get this so called condition with Owen until he was 2 years old. I think I knew that we were going to have another baby so that helped, plus I was only home with Owen for 5 months before going back to work and starting a new job so another baby was far from my mind. This time though, I think we could be done having kids and that is difficult for me to grasp right now. I am perfectly happy with my two boys and I am not sure I would even want a third, but it is sometimes hard watching Adam reach these milestones and move farther away from the cuddly, needy newborn. I am trying to savior his "babyness" as long and as much as I can. Mike is fully aware of my baby fever. The other day he saw me making the slide show of Adam and he said, "Wow. You have baby on the brain!" If you ask him, he is done having children. Two kids is perfect and just enough for him. He is so thankful for our two boys as am I. If I even mention another baby he starts to sweat and his heart races. He thinks logically (something I am usually really good at, but having trouble with right now)... money, college, house space, etc. The other day I was lugging a huge bag of baby clothes up to our tiny crawl space attic and he said, "Aren't you gonna get rid of those?" and I almost had a panic attack. I told him that just like he has anxiety over another baby, I have anxiety over getting rid of my boys' baby clothes. I am just not ready yet.
Maybe once my sister and cousins start having babies that will be enough to satisify my baby craving... or make it worse.
Maybe the fact that Adam is STILL not sleeping through the night is a gentle reminder to me that he is definitely STILL a baby. After all, he's only six months old. But I miss this...
No comments:
Post a Comment